Serendipity

I’m frozen.
I wish I could steal a little warmth from you.

Even if it’s not a touch.

Even if it’s just a word.
.

~the migraine is killing me. but at least it’s better than missing you.

There are people who make me wait for Sunday to come. Some little angel
to hug. Some little brainy to ask ‘how are you doing at school?’ Some
little bear to say ‘I love you’ to. And someone to see from afar…
someone that I’d love to pass by and stare at with my imaginary eyes
that kinda grow on my back lately… someone that I know only by name.

And
then, there are those that appear out of nowhere, not needing any
Sunday to say me ‘hello’, or throw a smile that says ‘hi’. They’re
there by divine appointments… or perhaps, purely coincidental.

So by any chance, I hope you read this.

To
him that bumps into me every now and then, I miss bumping into you. To
him who’s been holding back a ‘hello’, you might have had me just at
‘hi’. To him that makes me feel admired, you don’t know how much I look
up to you. And to a few that shower me with love, I’m sorry if your
warmth falls on my icy cold reaction… I’ve got a lot to learn from
you.

I’ll be waiting for another Sunday.

You know what…

when it seems like I never realise your existence,
I’m actually busy stopping my eyes from staring at you

when it seems like I never really care whether you’re there
I’m actually wishing that you’re here looking at me 

when it seems like I’m too occupied to just say hello
I’m actually picking up my courage, waiting for the right moment

but those things never occur to you, do they?
and now I’m afraid of falling…
afraid that you don’t feel the same way…

… walk in line.
… are heading the same direction.
… watch over each other’s back.

so, who’s going to watch over Andy, huh?
.

Kalau pangeranmu berkata begini, "Ada satu hal yang ingin kubilang. Penting.

Kita
sudah jalan bergandeng selama dua kali dua belas bulan. Tapi aku tetep
ajah ngga mengerti kamu seluruhnya. Kadang bingung apa maumu. Kadang
sengit pada diri sendiri karena ngga bisa membuatmu tersenyum. Kadang
mikir… apa aku sudah berikan yang terbaik buatmu? Kenapa rasanya cape
dan cape, tapi ngga kunjung mengerti apa yang ada di pikirmu?

Jadi…
sekarang aku ingin kamu dengar baik-baik. Jangan lagi berkilah dan buat
aku tambah gundah. Jangan lagi bikin alasan dan mengulur-ulur waktu
yang kita punya. Waktu kita ini makin lama makin menipis. Umur kita
makin lama makin bertambah.

Aku ingin mengerti kamu, tapi sudah lewat sekian lama masih juga ngga bisa. Karenanya aku minta maaf. Aku minta maaf karena ngga bisa membuatmu banyak tersenyum. Aku minta maaf karena belum bisa berikan yang terbaik buatmu.

Dan yang paling penting, aku minta maaf karena aku butuh seumur hidup untuk mengenalmu. Maukah kau berikan seumur hidupmu untukku?
.

Even though we’ve departed,  and by time we’ve been separated
Even though we become unfamiliar to one another, and strangers we will be…
still I can only remember our fondest memories.

And even though I’m not sure if any of these days will turn out well,
and don’t know if we will be hanging on alright,
I know we’ll always be reminded of each other’s beautiful souls.

Until we grow old and wrinkles are written all over our faces,
until the days we no longer see each other, even in dreams,
I’ll trust you with our loving memories.

Don’t ever forget what we had, not even a single story,
and through your whole life cherish them…
‘Cause there will be time when it’s all over,
when we will finally forget every single trace of time.

When it happens…

let’s meet again in Heaven.

- lindalee -
credits 세월의 흔적 다 버리고 - 신화
.

.

"Because in life there are so many things to try,
even if we make mistakes, it is still better trying than not doing anything…"

you mean trying good things, rite?
hehe…

anyway, your thoughts are your caffeine.
so stop thinking, go to sleep and have a good long rest, oppa.

tomorrow will be a better day!

sometimes, you don’t deserve someone
not because you ain’t good enough.

but simply
for your lack of judgment,
for you don’t have enough courage to step back
and see the bigger picture,
for you fear finding out that your love
does not do him/her any good.

that is why many times,
you hold on too tight, too close, too soon…
as if you’re afraid of losing.

is love really that selfish?

______________________________________

love is patient. love is kind.

oppa, stop making me jealous…

btw, no matter what,
don’t fall from your sky.
and keep shining.
you’re still an inspiration.

www.iriver.com
.

Kalau kau berhenti buatku tertawa
takkan kutulis arti hari itu
yang lekat di ingatku
karna kau buatku tertawa

Kalau senyummu lesap hilang
takkan sanggup kukembali
tuk bayangkan detik lepas hari
saat senyummu resap di jiwa

Hangatkan lekuk bibirmu
Jerangkan gelak hatiku
S’olah tiap jengkal cerita
berpulang di senyummu

_______________________________________

Ah, harus bagaimana jika senyumnya tak lagi untukku?
.